Turns out, I'm not.
I'm working through the burnout. The last three days have been good. I am back to writing, after doing something completely different to writing, and I've written 1000 words per day for the past three days. The reason I finally had to admit I have burnout is because after I wrote 1000 words on day one - in a cafe - I was so exhausted that movement hurt. I could barely carry myself from room to room, and that night, I fell asleep on the couch after sitting on it for just five minutes. It was as if, by writing, I had to deal with all my characters' emotions as well as my own, and it was just too damn much. (Because, my regular readers will know, I get very involved with my characters when I write - I can't just write in a detached manner.) Just a week ago, the thought of creating an entire story, with a beginning, middle, end, a plot, a couple of twists - the sheer monumental effort it would take - seemed too much to cope with.
This began back in December, but steadily got worse. I retreated for a couple of months - it wasn't quite a Buddhist retreat (because I actually can't go to a Buddhist retreat for two months, even if I wanted to - family responsibilities and all), but it was close to that in my mind. I've spent the last few weeks resting and re-energising my body and soul through meditation, channelling, and working with crystals (one of my past loves).
Writing is FIRE for me - hot, fast, impulsive. Crystal work is ICE - cooling, balanced, in suspension. (I have always felt split into many facets - much like a crystal.) I realised this through a period of recapitulation and soul retrieval. It's been a heavy couple of months!
Between Fire and Ice has been a new venture that has slowly brought me (is still slowly bringing me) out of a chrysalis where slumber is sweet. Feel free to have a look, but I warn you now, it's pretty airy-fairy for those who don't think in that way or 'believe' in it. I don't talk about it too much on my Facebook author page, and probably won't, because it's not to do with books - I'm inviting you to see another of my 'facets' here.
But, as always, in the midst of ice, I yearn for fire, so the dying embers fight for life, the wind changes, the fire reignites, and the desire to write stories calls, as it always has, and this time, I find myself swaying between fire and ice ... stay in balance ... stay in balance. I write 1000 words and leave a trail of smoke, then I dip my soul into the frozen pools of rock and earth so I don't turn to ash.
Stay in balance.